The Dinner Foray
by lostsword
Summary: A short bit of Dib-angst at a formal party, a little hint of intergalactic politics, and a large smattering of ZAGR for you all. Oneshot.


Gazelene Membrane had never really shown any interest in boys—especially in regards to relationships—and most felt this was directly related to her general lack of interest in anything and everything not associated with gaming devices, greasy pizza, or her direct family—though the last one was by far the lowest of interest to her.

Her game slave was rarely seen anywhere but her hands and she had been known to flat out ignore everything from fleet admirals to galactic officials in favor of beating yet another level or earning one more high score. Her other addiction, pizza, was only found in one particular chain that spanned only the reaches of her home sector—Sol—and was so greasy that few beings other than humans could even handle the substance itself.

Her family, however, was not so plain.

Gaz's father was head of the federations Science Corps and through it he had produced numerous life-changing inventions. The infamy that came with being Professor Membrane's only daughter and youngest child had led to more than one attempted courting...and subsequent hospital bill and court date.

Her brother, Commander Dibbert—who repeatedly stressed that he went by Dib and _not_ his birth name—Membrane was the commander of the Fifth Research and Development Group and was one of the more important officers in her father's command. He, despite many fights between the two, was more or less the only other living being Gaz would tolerate around her—though she had a habit of tormenting him when he did end up near her.

In short, few would ever hold Gaz's interest for more than the two seconds it took her blink and turn away.

This was not the case, however, for Commander Zimmerman of the Irken detachment to the Fifth RDG; a sub-commander with Dib and a Vortian commander named Fris. The Irken officer—succeeding where both human and Vortian males had all failed—had _literally_ knocked the purple haired woman off her feet.

It had been at a formal banquet on Loyk VI—where a conference over scientific standards and procedures concerning sentient safety standards had been raging—when the two had quite literally met face to face. Dib and Zim—along with Fris—had been attending as the Fifth RDG was among the selected groups to attend the conference while Gaz had been there to see her father about a recent fight she had been involved in.

The results of that night would haunt Dib for the rest of his days...

* * *

"These meetings are worthless, all the Earthlings do is whine and whine about pointless concerns while the rest of the _smarter_ beings try to—unsuccessfully—help them see reason..." Commander Zim complained as he walked abreast with Commanders Dib and Fris towards the conference room's main dining hall after the final session for the day—of which there had been a total of thirteen so far—of the talks.

The three males were adorned in the uniform and regalia of officers in the Federal Fleet and wore the insignia of Commanders in the Science Corps. Highly polished black shoes were mostly covered by highly starched white trousers, which were in turn overlapped by a high collared, broad shouldered, uniform jacket that was adorned with medals and braided rope of various colors. All three men had equally starched white uniform caps with wide brims tucked under their arms along with their snow white gloves.

"The Vortians agree with the Earthlings, Zimmerman," Fris said, his tone just shy of offended, as they approached the doors.

"Like I said Vort-beast, the rest of the _smarter_ beings try to proclaim reason," Zim said with a cruel smirk as Dib opened the door and Zim strode through it like he owned the galaxy—which he wouldn't, in fact, mind at all.

Zim's grand visage of himself was torn to shreds as he ran into something incredibly warm and soft. With an enraged yelp, the creature he had ran smack into fell on top of him and Zim's vision was suddenly flooded with the most amazing shade of onyx.

The girl—no, the _woman—_was dressed in tight fitting pants and a loose fitting shirt over a tighter undershirt, a pair of sneakers and a gaming device in her back pocket completed the outfit. Though Zim had never met her before, Dib knew fully well that Gaz—even for their father—would never wear formal attire—much less a _dress_ of all things—for any reason, right up to and including death.

Gaz, who had just been on her way to _leave_ the dining hall after running into yet another stalker, stared down—primarily in rage—at the most captivating blue eyes she had ever seen. Her mouth fell open to yell in anger, but her mind was still frozen by the commanding—yet oddly attractive—blue orbs absorbed in her own onyx ones.

"I-I'm terribly sorry," Zim muttered softly, still on his back and a arm around the girl's back in what he was sure had been an automatic gesture and in no way had anything to do with his own mind's desires.

"I-I...uh..." Gaz, the one who was eternally cool and remote when it came to boys, suddenly found herself flustered and without a single cutting remark. She was stunned and what was worse was Dib was in full view of it.

"Get off my sister, Zim!" Dib cried in outrage as he watched—understandably—in shock as his sister lay frozen atop his rival.

"She's on me, Dib-stink," Zim commented back while still remaining transfixed with the woman's eyes. They reminded him of the massive mountains on his home world of Irk; a powerful representation of power and height to his people for as long as their civilization had existed.

Dib opened his mouth to say something retorting back, but fell silent when he realized the commander was correct in his statement.

Gaz seemed to snap out of the eye-lock first and hastily stood up before—in a move that shocked Dib—offered her hand to Zim. The Irken took her hand quickly and felt his squeedily-spooch flip end over end at the warm contact with her hand.

The woman pulled him to his feet—almost causing him to crash into her again—and Zim found himself entranced in her purple hair. The locks were beautifully designed to replicate the jaw of a snake with long, very sharp, fangs; her hair smelled of some sort of earthly perfume that for some reason had a stronger effect on him then any of the other female-mating fumes he had ever smelt before had.

Zim shuddered.

Gaz blushed.

"Come on Zim!" Dib said, not liking what he was seeing _at all_, as he grabbed the Irken by the arm and dragged him into the banquet hall. The Irken's sight never left Gaz's and even after the door had shut behind him, he continued to stare.

Dib had barely made it to a table before Gaz had caught up to them.

"I can't find dad, have you seen him?" Gaz asked, her question posed to Dib, but her eyes focused solely on Zim. Her eyes were projecting a different question than her voice was and her brother saw that _very_ clearly.

"No, have you tried the conference hall? He might still be there," Dib stated simply as he tried to remove his sister as quickly as possible.

"He's probably already on his way here if he was there. I'll just wait with you until they announce his arrival," Gaz said simply as she began to shift towards Zim's side of the table.

"I _really_ think you should go, we'll just bore you with military talk and stuff." Dib assured her as he watched in dismay as his little sister seated herself beside his biggest rival.

"I think she...I'm sorry, what is your name miss?" Zim asked as he turned towards Gaz—and subtly putting himself closer to her—to Dib's even greater dismay.

"G-Gazelene, but I go by Gaz," Gaz stated far less smoothly than she generally was whenever she actually had to converse with anyone besides her family.

"That's an awe-inspiring name," Zim said with the faintest hint at flirting before turning back to Dib. "I think _Gaz_ should stay with us, I would hate for your sister to be harassed by the lesser races Dib-fart."

"Yeah, I'm really getting sick of being hit on by all your science buddies Dib," Gaz agreed as she winked at Zim, who smirked back as they both blushed lightly.

"Nope! Go find Dad, _Gazelene_," Dib said crossly as he pointed back towards the doorway they had just entered through and which would ultimately lead Gaz away from Zim for the night.

"I don't take orders from you, _Dibbert_." Gaz said with a smirk while both Fris—who was _normally_ on Dib's side—and Zim chuckled heavily at the name.

"Your first name is _Dibbert_?" Zim asked in amusement as he laughed heartily while Gaz smiled—a _real_ smile—at him in victory.

"I-I...shut u-up!" Dib complained as he turned beat red in embarrassment. He had worked like a dog for _years_ to keep his first name a secret from his comrades. Now, with Zim's help no doubt, the entire fleet would know.

Just great.

"That's actually rather funny," Fris said with a sly smirk towards Gaz.

Dib _almost_ screamed; instead, he just left indents in the finely carved wood of his dining chair.

"Attention on deck!"

Virtually everyone in the room jumped out of their chairs and snapped to attention as the main doors swung open and a small procession began to file in. The civilians that were scattered throughout the room slowly rose to their feet as well, but they remained in a relaxed stance. Gaz chose to remain sitting and actually had—in Dib's mind—the gall to pull out her game slave.

Two fleet admirals, a general, a smattering of colonels and a number of politicians and party heads made their way into the room and assumed their seats at the head table. Among them was Dib and Gaz's father, Vice Admiral Membrane—better known as Professor Membrane—at the head of the table sitting across from Admiral Purple; the head officials of the conference.

"Well there's dad," Dib said sternly with a scolding look at Gaz, "I guess you can go now!"

"Would you care for an escort Gaz?" Zim said with a wink as he stood with Gaz and offered his arm.

The purple haired girl smiled warmly at the Irken and accepted the invitation by placing her arm within the offered arm, linking them, as she turned to face Dib. "I would love one, thank you commander," she said.

"Now wait a minu-" Dib started to say, only to be cut off by his rival officer.

"Don't worry, _Dibbert_, I will take _good_ care of your _sister_," Zim said with a teasing smirk as he led Gaz towards the head table.

Gaz stuck her tongue out at Dib and flipped him the bird.

Dib just stared in shock as he watched Zim walk off with his little sister on his arm. Fris actually touched his neck and didn't even feel a pulse.

"Dib?" The Vortian asked just before the Human passed out and fell face first into a plate full of turkey and rice pilaf.

* * *

"So that's why I'm here," Gaz said simply as she finished her story while she and Zim sat in the center of the gardens outside of the conference center.

"That was beautiful," Zim said, causing Gaz to blush for the hundredth time that night—and not just because they had been drinking from a "liberated" bottle of Foei for the past two hours—as he clapped drunkenly. "I especially liked the bruises that turned into deep tissue bleeding," he added with a smirk.

"Same," Gaz agreed as she took the Foei bottle out of Zim's hands and brought it to her lips. She had never been a heavy drinker, but for some reason she just wanted to keep drinking. Her mind was too gone to understand why, but deep down she was aware why she was getting plastered with Zim.

A silence fell between the two and they took that time to examine the other.

Gaz had noticed Zim wasn't as muscular as most of the men that tried to hunt her down every time she left the Membrane compound back on Earth. He was also far less sane and could be—and probably _should_ be—considered a maniac.

His hair was unkempt, yet it proclaimed a certain level of wild care. He did boast about himself and his greatness, but it wasn't in the same manner as the brainless meat heads she was used to. He was unique to her, and she liked that.

Zim, on the other hand, had never met a female like Gaz. He had known Dib for several years—sadly—and despite their long rivalry he had never actually met the infamous Gaz. He had heard of her, of course, but he had never actually met her.

Her stature wasn't as tall as him, but her personality was imposing. Her hair was incredibly outlandish, but he found it as compelling as that of a solar star. Her figure was not overly curvy, but it wasn't faked like a large portion of the women he had met in his galactic travels. She was unique to him, and he liked that.

Neither of them were really all that sure when they had ended up nose to nose with the other, but both were _very_ much aware of how close their lips were. They could feel the heat from the others body and taste the smell of the other.

"I-" One of them started to say, only for their lips to lock and their eyes to close. Zim pulled Gaz to him—though she was moving forward of her own will more than she was pulled—and as his arms wrapped around her waist her hands wrapped around his neck.

Zim was in a world of purple warmth and his mind was projecting a pair of onyx eyes over it all. His right hand had shifted up to run through the thick mane around Gaz's head—ruining the snake look sadly—while his left slid from her waist to rest firmly on her hips. Gaz ran both of her hands through his hair and used her leverage to pull Zim in tighter to her own body until she was laying on her back in an odd reversal of their earlier encounter.

The lip lock lasted for nearly a minute before they broke for air.

"Dib will shit a brick if he sees us like this," Gaz said, her eyes scanning Zim's face for any reaction to the mind blowing kiss they had just shared.

"My plan is for him to shit a planet by the time he catches us," Zim said with a smirk before attacking Gaz once again.


End file.
